But in reality, this somewhat subjective attempt at definition doesn’t cover it. Interestingly, the Good Dictionary goes even further, saying that “an obsession with pornography that is usually different from that of the general population. In other words, it is something that sometimes has nothing to do with sex at all, that gets you excited, and that the majority of people don’t like.” Perhaps it is precisely this last definition that is at the heart of “fat fetish”. And their importance in dating as a fatty is gradually coming closer.
Type vs. Fetish
Firstly, what is the difference between porn and fetish? While it’s considered pretty normal to be attracted to people with certain types of porn, wouldn’t it be nice to be a bit more specific with your preferences? For example, what do you think about porn for people who are primarily/only attracted to certain body types? The latter two are each worthy of more than a standalone article, but let’s focus on fat fetishes.
Why congratulate men who are attracted to fat/curvy women?
Unsurprisingly, reactions were polarized, oscillating between praise from news outlets that labeled it “porn” for focusing solely on physical characteristics, and criticism of the way men who don’t have mainstream values are celebrated. So, who’s right? Is anyone right? A plus-size fashion blogger opines: “When I saw this post, I was like, ‘Oh my God, this is so amazing!’ I hope a lot of men see this.’ But then I started thinking, ‘Wait. Hold on. Hang in there.’ And I love her. But just because men like curvy bodies doesn’t mean we should put them on a pedestal. This is a problem, but we’re waging this civil war within ourselves.”
Full Attention vs. Is Attention Bad?
When discussing the potentially problematic aspects of fetishes, a couples therapist who specializes in size acceptance points out that the fetish (rather than the “type”) “becomes the focus of sexual activity and sexual desire, not the person. ” In other words, instead of being interested in a complex person, you’re only interested in the person’s so-called “plus-size” body. Of course, if there is mutual consent, the possibility of harmful objectification in porn is eliminated. But the issue is further complicated by the fact that mainstream beauty standards continue to influence the self-esteem of people in general, and fat women in particular, creating a situation in which some of these women react aggressively to attention that doesn’t necessarily make them feel valued or desired as a person. If they care about that, then it’s a problem. Just a domestic war
It’s… complicated
Many overweight women have experienced being reduced to just another body and even encountered potential sexual partners who wanted to control their body size through diet (consensual porn = sure, why not? But when potential porn actors don’t) it can be downright dehumanizing.
